Chris Cirak Q&A

How do I meet the love of my life? #tiredofdating

Relationships are one of the great accelerators on your journey of self-realization. You get together with others to grow in the name of love.

Meeting the love of your life is a somewhat over-the-top concept. Meeting the love you’re ready for is much more grounded.

The work you put into your own growth and healing, comes back to you, not least in the form of relationships. Your task is to not let judgments lead you into situations that aren’t for your highest good. Every day you spend pursuing relationships that don’t serve you, is time spent not being you.

Whether or not there is one perfect person for you out there or many, is unimportant. What is important is that you don’t sell yourself short

A great match is someone who sees you for who you are. This has more to do with their ability to listen and give you the space to be you, than anything else. Yes, compatible lifestyles and dispositions play a role. But they are dwarfed by your ability to be mirrors for each other.

A great partner can mirror you back without adding their own baggage into the mix. Unrealized partners react to your needs by injecting themselves into their responses, so you never get to experience yourself as you are. And of course the same holds true for you being a mirror to them. The more you are aware of your judgments, the more you can see and, thus, reflect them for who they are. From this place of pure mirroring, everyone can grow to love themselves, and consequently each other.

When you live with a focus on experiencing what is, you are living in unfiltered reality. When you meet that special person, you recognize in them the same level of connectedness as you carry in yourself. Sharing this connection is primary. Everything else is secondary. Surely, things like vastly different station-in-life or geographic distance pose challenges that have their practical limits. But those are logistics that either fit or not. And usually, where there is love, there is a way.

Be mindful of the dating game. Modern dating apps give you a high of endless choice. It’s easy to get sucked into trying to judge your way to love. But judging distorts your own inner wisdom, and you spend your time negotiating for love. Negotiating means settling. Time spent not being you is wasting your most precious resource. The fastest way to meeting the love of your life is by not spending time on anyone who isn’t. You can trust your blink response on that. Don’t get lost in stories. Stay focused on experiencing what’s in front of you.

Your degree of self-realization is the degree to which you love yourself. The more you realize who you are designed to be, the more you fall in love with being you.

Who you feel attracted to is the person with whom you can learn to love yourself more. That’s how life is designed to work. A million little details go into why you feel attracted to someone. But how it works is not important. At the end of the day, you seek love on the outside, so you can learn to love yourself more on the inside.

The love of your life that you’re seeking, is you.


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How do I meet the love of my life? #tiredofdating


How do I meet the love of my life? #tiredofdating