The more you are you, the more you exude confidence. The less you are you, the more nervous and fearful you get.
All of your fear in life comes from listening to others’ ideas about who you should be. From an early age on you get bombarded with messages from the world around you. Everybody thinks they’re right. Everybody thinks they know the truth. Everyone wants you to be like them. As well-intentioned as many of them might be, deep down they just want to feel good about their own life. They want you to make decisions that reaffirm their own. Or they just want you to buy their products. That’s a life lived through the lens of judgment.
Often you can’t tell the difference between who you think you should be, and who others think you should be. But the mere use of the word should already indicate that something is amiss. Alignment with self doesn’t require force. You never have to feel like you should be you. Being you is easy and joyful. It’s what all your seeking is about. When you come across an aspect that is you, you embrace it with all your heart. No nudging required. If you feel like you should be something, it means that judgment is behind it, either your own or others’.
The more you listen to your judgments, the less confident you are. When you lack confidence, you start to think you have to negotiate your way through life. The voice of your realized self is drowned out by your judgments. You give in to the outside pressures of being someone you’re not. No wonder you feel stressed. No wonder you are fearful. Not being you is a scary place.
When you’re not yourself, there is a tendency to make up for the lack of confidence by relying on external signs of success. You spend your time creating a structure around your public image, one that matches what others deem to be success. It takes a lot of work to uphold this structure. It can crumble as soon as your circumstances change. You live in fear of failure. You cannot show weakness, because showing weakness makes you the target of negative judgments, including your own about yourself.
But that is only your judging habit speaking. There is no shame in saying I don’t know or I can’t do that. Real confidence knows there is no such thing as failing. There is only doing and being.
Ultimately, there is no greater confidence than to be who you are designed to be. When you’re you, you don’t doubt yourself. You don’t question your own motives. Being you exudes pure confidence. Others want to be in your presence. They want to be like you.
Be you and supercharge your confidence.
How confident are you?